aHEAD IN THE GAME

If you came here expecting a tried and true sports psychologist that’s just not me. I’m not here to give the perfect advice; I can’t take anyone from Sunday League to the Premier League. In fact, I’m still looking for those answers myself. What I can offer is an authentic take on the field of sports psychology and my own journey within it.

Let me formally introduce myself: my name is Kim. I’ve been an athlete my entire life. I started playing soccer at five and I haven’t looked back. I took the typical route for girls playing soccer in the US. I went from intramural to the club level, and bounced around a few places, before I was recruited to East Carolina University. There, I completed my undergraduate degree in Exercise Physiology and my master’s degree in Kinesiology with a concentration in Sports Psych. After ECU I went on to play professionally in Europe. I would say my time at ECU was one of the most influential periods in my life as it significantly impacted my career both on and off the field.

For most who make it to collegiate sport it is the highest level they will play. But even more than that, there’s a whole new level of stress as athletes are basically thrown to the fire being expected to balance a rigorous athletic and academic workload. Youth and potential college coaches will try to prepare young athletes for the experience. Anyone getting ready to play a sport in school knows these lines: “it’s basically like having a job,” or “you’re a STUDENT-athlete not an ATHLETE-student.” They always talk about how taxing it is balancing sport and school. So, I was prepared for the academic struggles I would face. I knew the long trips across the country would take a toll. I knew I would have to juggle missing classes because of games. I was even prepared to miss out on fun opportunities because of training and the overall time commitment. And obviously, I was even prepared physically; everyone always mentioned grueling preseasons. Coaches and players would go on and on about the hell of two-a-day practices. Every summer leading up to the season, the coaches sent us a full day by day packet to get ready for the fall. In short, the physical and academic toll were always talked about prior college. However, they completely omitted the mental challenges that collegiate athletics present.

I had psychological obstacles before but college was a time where my mental weaknesses were exacerbated and at first I didn’t even know it. I, like so many athletes, was so dedicated to the betterment of my team in and out of sport. I would do anything possible to be the best on the field and in the classroom; I began to treat myself as a machine rather than a person. I forced myself to play through mental and physical injuries. My self-worth was synonymous with my athletic ability, so if my performance suffered so did my confidence, which only led to increased anxiety and stress. Around my sophomore year is when I really started to notice that what I would consider on the field issues were starting to effect my mentality off the field as well and vice versa. I sought help with a psychologist to deal with my own problems, but I thought all of these issues were just a me problem.

It wasn’t until I began my masters degree that I truly began to grasp the severity of this issue and that it wasn’t just me. I was lucky enough to head research projects, facilitate focus groups, lead presentations, and administer mental skills interventions. Through these opportunities I realized the darker side of athletics; the issues that I had faced were not unique. So many athletes struggled with the same things. I felt a little validated knowing I wasn’t alone, if anything my struggles were normal. But honestly, I was more frightened than comforted to know that my deepest insecurities, darkest thoughts, were shared by so many. That’s anything but normal.

I felt like those hours spent on the field, running sprints, lifting weights, analyzing film, all that work you spend on the physical side of your sport is kind of useless. Don’t get me twisted, that’s super important stuff to do if you’re competing and you won’t get far without it. But, the reality is you’re only an athlete for a short period of your entire life. The time you spend actually competing is even shorter. The toll this type of life takes though it can last far beyond our athletic careers.

For so long, I was obsessed with being the best ATHLETE I could be; I neglected other aspects of my life just to squeeze in another 5 minutes of practice. Now let me remind you I AM a professional athlete; I completely understand that sacrifice is necessary. You have to commit an enormous amount of time and effort into sport to be successful. I just think we neglect a huge part of what else is important, the mental side of sport. We have to commit to psychological training as well as physical. Training mental skills not only boosts performance but mental health and well-being. What I’ve learned is that I have to prioritize my mental well being AND physical well being for the best performances. Even though soccer has probably screwed both my knees, my hips, and my ankles for the foreseeable future, the psychological skills that I have tried to incorporate can help me for the rest of my life. When I was playing in college my coach would tell us to “play the game not the drill”, he wanted us to make sure we were seeing the bigger picture and not just focusing on the activity in front of us. I think when it comes to sports psychology it’s the same thing. We want to help athletes perform on the field but more importantly we want them to be mentally healthy and truly enjoy their sport. Your playing career is finite but your mental health can impact you forever.

Many big name athletes have opened up about their own struggles, making athlete mental health a hot topic. I want this to be more than the latest trend. I feel like everyone wants to talk about athlete mental well-being after something dramatic or tragic happens. Honestly, I’m sick of offering thoughts and prayers after the fact. I want to do something now. I started this blog because I felt it was one way I could offer something tangible to help athletes who struggle the same ways I do. I’m not naive. I know that not everyone is sold on the whole “mental health” thing. Now I would drop anything to participate in the latest mental health lecture, but the Kim of 5 years ago probably wouldn’t care. The only thing anyone in sport worries about is *performance.* That’s why I want to package my message in a way that all athletes can relate to. On this blog, I’ll discuss psychological variables and mental skills training that influence the one thing we all care about. I’m hoping that these types of strategies will help athletes be the best version of themselves on AND off the field.

So, welcome to aHEAD IN THE GAME, a place where I can be honest and open about my own thoughts concerning sports psychology theories, mental skills training, and how they’ve influenced my experiences. My goal is to help athletes get ahead in their sport and stay ahead in life. I know that everything I say won’t always be perfect, (I’m bound to be wrong more than a few times.) I just hope that in reading this some are able to find inspiration as they embark on their own journey and draw connections to mine.